I do not have to apologise for taking a 3-day long break. My team lost and I was sad. It is justified to take a break from work when your team has lost a game, NASA just published a study on it, don’t you guys read the news? Now that we’ve got this out of the way, let’s get to this blog. Continuing my favourite series on this blog, welcome to the roast of RCB!
Royal Challengers Bangalore Probable XI
- Aaron Finch*(Has played for more IPL teams than any other player – Nobody wants to keep him)
- Devdutt Padikkal (Starts the innings slower than Murali Vijay)
- Virat Kohli (c) (Has had a worse IPL 2020 than Murali Vijay)
- AB De Villiers*(wk) (Worse at wicketkeeping than Murali Vijay)
- Gurkeerat Singh Mann (He’s not even verified on twitter, what do ya want)
- Shivam Dube (Boy, he sure knows how to quickly kill any hype around him)
- Washington Sundar (Remember when there was a call to let him open the innings? Lol.)
- Isuru Udana (.)
- Navdeep Saini (Has lesser variations than Technical Guruji’s thumbnails)
- Adam Zampa (I don’t want to make a long hair and earrings joke, but like come on)
- Yuzvendra Chahal (RCB might’ve paid off the govt. to ban Tik Tok so that Chahal could focus on cricket)
I actually have a study-related video playing in the background because writing this will just be that easy. RCB has just roasted themselves over the years. They are definitely the team who has disappointed the most. They haven’t won a single IPL even after playing 3 finals! Seems like AB De Villiers didn’t bring just his Indian fanboys to RCB, he also brought the South African choker mentality! That’s the only plausible reason to explain why a team like theirs hasn’t won a single IPL trophy yet. Onto the bashing now!
The opening duo of Aaron Finch and Devdutt Padikkal is more mismatched than a pink shirt with orange pants and blue shoes. They have a batsman who has had just one good first-class season and isn’t even close to playing for his country opening with the captain of the most successful cricketing nation in the world. Their conversations on the pitch must be simply amazing!
Next they have the self-proclaimed ‘biggest bromance in cricket’. Well, then how come ABD mentions Virat just once in his autobiography? Not too BFFy, is it? RCB is more dependent on these two, than a retired senior citizen is on the goernment’s pension.
Next we have some Indian ‘talents’. Gurkeerat Singh Mann is 30 years old. He can’t even hide behind the ‘young talent’ tag now. He has learnt a lot from Virat Kohli though, because he dropped 2 catches in the last game. They also have Shivam Dube who’s biggest achievement till date remains the 5 sixes he hit in one over in a regional game, which got him 5 crores in the auction. I’m hoping Tewatia gets 10 crores in the next season, accounting for inflation and all. Neither of Washington’s batting or bowling is ‘Sundar’, and quite frankly, I think he should be considered as a pure bowler now instead of an all-rounder.
Isuru Udana, I mean what’s there to say about him! About his cricket at least. He seems to be a good person off the field though, and I loved how he backed Ashok Dinda against the ‘Dinda Academy’ trolls, so props to him for that. Navdeep Saini has blinding pace, but that is of no use if he doesn’t have variations in his bowling! He can’t bowl 6 consecutive fast length deliveries to world-class players like MS Dhoni, Hardik Pandya, Andre Russell, Rahul Tewatia etc.
Lastly they have two more spinners. Yes, they play 3 spinners and just 2 fast bowlers in their lineup. And then RCB fans ask why they leak runs in the death overs. Yuzvendra Chahal might just be their only good bowler, but when it’s not his day, he gets smashed around like anything. The same goes for Adam Zampa, but for him, the latter is much more frequent. Overall, this RCB team looks like their owner’s company Kingfisher Airlines – they’re going down.
Rajasthan Royals Probable XI
- Jos Buttler*
- Yashasvi Jaiswal
- Sanju Samson
- Steve Smith* (c)
- Riyan Parag
- Rahul Tewatia
- Tom Curran*
- Jofra Archer*
- Shreyas Gopal
- Jaydev Unadkat
- Ankit Rajpoot
The perfect team J. This probably won’t happen since Smith wouldn’t demote himself down the order so quickly, but it is the right thing to do. RR has always promoted young talent, and Yashasvi deserves to reap the benefits of playing in such a franchise. Robbie Uthappa has tried his best, but he’s just not in form. The rest of the team is top-notch.
My Prediction – I am going to go with RR to win this game (Thank you, Captain Obvious!)
My Current Prediction Counter – 9-4 (1-3 in recent games L)